even a tiny full stop happens for a reason. . .

We've been through so much so much...
brain can really work extraordinarily well when I finally realized that every single moment that I miss spending with you ain't gonna happen anymore. This thought acts like a stimulant to my brain...activated every single unknown system that has to do with the storage of all our memories which leads to a never ending video clip that keeps playing in my mind...keeps digging for more and more..
I do not blame it on the brain, but the heart, that is so afraid of letting these memories slip out just like that if I do not try to retain them when they are still fresh in mind....


I blamed you for being selfish and cruel and I chose to react in a harsh way. I might overdid it , because you are not the only one that I am trying to convince..
A sour break, that's all we need now. You want to take all the blame on you, which will makes you feel better... and I need to hate you, in order to fulfill your wish..

I know you well enough to understand what you are trying to do.
I truly believe that you aren't doing this for whatever bullshit freedom..
and I know that I do not mean to say those words to you.
but maybe this is the only way for us sort things out right now...

you have no idea how reluctant I am to lose a friend like you.
I still love you the way I used to...
and I know that I will never get to tell you this anymore...