天空灰得像哭过
离开你以后 并没有 更自由
散散的空气 绣出我们的距离
一路最逊的结局 像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记 炸干了回忆 那笑容是杀气
你我的过去 别想是真的忘记 缺氧过后的爱情
置信的眼泪是多余

我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
心事担担给了承偌 却被时间扑了空

我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过

最美的爱情 回忆里再续

。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。

天空灰得像哭过
离开你以后 并没有 更自由
散散的空气 绣出我们的距离
一路最逊的结局 像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记 炸干了回忆 那笑容是杀气
你我的过去 别想是真的忘记 缺氧过后的爱情
置信的眼泪是多余

我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
心事担担给了承偌 却被时间扑了空

我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过

最美的爱情 回忆里再续

。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。

After taking sedatives for a few nights, I think today wil be a new start for me.

-NO more taking sedatives
-NO more staring at the ceiling and worrying til the sunlight slowly brightens up the room..
-NO more choreographing for my dance..finally its done~!!!
-NO more worrying bout my patient 's history case..teacher seems to like me so much!
-No more tearing at night for nonsense...those are nonsense, i got something better to do now..
-Jess no longer staying in the DARK..we finally shifted the cupboard..
-My corner is no longer isolated...
-My bags of old clothes finally are packed and soon be given away..
-I finally bought an IDD card to call home after one month..always wanted to do so..but there were always obstacles..
-Glomerulonephritis was bothering me so much..finally i find it simple ..
-Something which was inside me for 5 years..finally got an answer ...

time flies...
it has been 5 years..more than that maybe..
its amazing that how things happen within these 5 years..
although i am far apart from the place where all the memories were created..but the memories are always with me..

I am feeling so relief now..
my shoulder is no longer hurting..
i got my motivation all of a sudden..thanks..for everything..
I will bear in mind ...everything that i was told and taught..
LIFE IS WONDERFUL..
its wonderful , when you get to open your eyes in the morning..seeing your roommates preparing for classes instead of having Jesus face to face asking you .."why did you sin so much~!?"and find yourself being nowhere but no longer in the world...

its wonderful , when you still get to see those you love..communicate with them and show how much you love and care...

its wonderful , even if you are far apart from those you love but still get to love
them and care for them...

LIFe is wonderful..appreciate it..

its 7.15 am
woke up at 6 am.
I couldnt sleep much nowadays..

Homesick !homesick!

I cant wait to get my streamyx done.
I cant wait to have video conversation with mommy..
I cant wait to go back in jan..

I am fully occupied in oct.-being part of the OC for Aidil-vali function.
-coming out wth two performances (sounds challenging)
-busy cycle
-do alot of thinkings..on ways of improving myself

Recently, i realized something..break-up seems to be the trend of the year.

THree friends of mine..just broke up..
haha.how come everyone come to me telling me that they broke up..
maybe due to the reason tat ..i am a nocturnal friend..oh no..i think i m a 7-11 friend..alwiz available when they call or sms..

true enough.

midnight in msia..would be my dinner time..
insomnia hours..i am the only one stil studying..or onlining..
early in the morning..after they got themselves wasted..i m the one stil awake to listen to their post-drinking confession...
ya..i am always available for u guys ..

I like the feelings of having supports and someone there for me when I am facing some prob..or having homesick..
thanks yo my fatty buddy !!!thanks for comforting me last night..

Dear all my friends out there...
Again, I have to stress on this again...LOVE AFFAIRS..aren't everything in our lives.
SO, stop being so selfish..think bout the others..think bout those who care bout u more than anybody else does..
Let go when its time to do so..holding on doesnt show your loyalty, nor bring u sympathy..u are just making a fool out of urself..in front of those who already let things go...
MOVE ON!live for urself babes..
STOP victimizing urself in a relationship!!!!!!!!!!

A bit confused..when 99% cases of depression is mainly caused by relationship problems.alright..i am making myself sound like an old lady..i admit it..but i am really sick of witnessing gals being victims of relationships..

Gomenasai - T.A.T.u
(A song which i strongly recommend..)

-when i wanted to cry
i couldnt cause i wasnt allowed

GOmenasai for everything
GOmenasai i know i let u down..
GOmenasai til the end
i never needed a fren
like i do now

-when i wanted to call u
and ask u for help
i stopped myself

GOmenasai for eveything
Gomenasai i know i let u down
GOmenasai til the end
i never needed a fren like i do now

when i wanted to tell u
i made a mistake..
i walked away..

the melody of the song is catchy ..
dl and leave ur comments pls.

Its 1.01 am in the morning.

The caffeine is expressing its effects. I am revising anatomy which was abandoned since the day I got my last zachet in the year 2004.
It doesn’t require too much of brain capacity as it did before. If not mistaken, this would be the 4th time I am studying these topics-arteries and veins circulation, internal organs..

Recently, I found myself addicted to a series named NIP/TUCK. The series are mainly about two kick-ass plastic surgeons ..story lines are really cool and unpredictable.

Lets talk bout the party that we held on Saturday night.it was hao’s birthday.We all got wasted but we did have a lot of fun.

Well,I am still alert of my responsibilities as a medical student..

Classes are getting more and more interesting each day. We get to meet up with a lot of patients and interview them in order to give a preliminary diagnosis.
I love the feelings of satisfaction when I got the diagnosis written correctly.

This cycle I am supposed to finish a history case report on a patient. She is a very nice old lady . A lady with both right and left ventricular heart failure.
The congestive heart failure leads to a complication which is the reason why I got her as my patient.She is suffering from secondary pneumonia due to the congestion of pulmonary artery.Pulmonary hypertension prones to lung infection –that is why we called this a secondary pneumonia.

Besides , she has diabetes mellitus which causes all the ulceration on her legs.They look very painful to me.It looks like some kind of pus plus blood-oozing cut wounds which is as big as my palm.

After reading all these, she might appears depressed , moody or grumpy in your imagination..

i can tell you that she is definitely one of the liveliest , most cheerful , loveliest Russian ladies I have ever met in Russia.

She looks joyful and happy all the time. She enjoys our company so much that she never forgets reminding us to pay her a visit whenever we are free after every interview we had.
She is always smiling .. what a cheerful lady..

People tend to make a big deal out of their own problems, but what I can see in her is that she is making a big deal out of her slight possibilities of recovering from all these complicated diseases. Isn’t this wonderful???
She enjoys her life and she chose to face her problems in a healthy way. Salute!
This is what the smart ones will do. At least, she is immuned to mental diseases called depression and schizophrenia , and get rid of anti-depressants or MAO inhibitors ..
Alright, its time for me to get back to my work.Lets pray for her, by the way, her name is Ivanova.Wish her a speedy recovery!

i have so much..so blardy much to say~~~

today is the first saturday since classes started.
I had early lecture at 9 til 12.30noon.Well, its not an important lecture..not even necessory for a medical student..not to mention important.
Radiology lecture,mainly bout the characteristics of x-rays , the usage of it,the source ..and some complicated theory of its production and some nonsense history.

let me giv u a rough idea of the scene in the lecture hall this morning.

i was sitting at the 10th row.students filled the hall for the sake of the attendance which is pretty stupid..

the first few rows obviously were occupied by those who are soon-to-be red diploma holders.they were tryin their very best to concentrate..can see that..

well, most of the students were busy smsing..God knows who they are messaging..but i guess it is a very normal reflex to have taken out ur phone and message someone else when u find the lecture is just simply wasting time..i have been receiving a number of messages from ppl like this..

other than sms, there were some other activities goin on in the hall ...

pris and some of them were watching ANIME using pocket pc right in front..i peeped at their screens once in awhile..

the guy next to me was reading a book in the beginnign of the lecture..after an hour.he was busy figuring out the mathematic question to challenge me..stil haven figure out the way to solve it yet..but i am pretty sure that i will not giv up man..do not try to discourage me..

jes and wendy were sitting right next to me..
we were busy taking pic using hp..it was funny..it was TRIGGERED by wendy's sleepin pose at first...and the wild action became worse after awhile..from no-flash to few-flashes settings..goodness..hahaa..
ppl who brought cameras for the purpose of capturing the slides from lecture had chosen to take pics of others..take pic of those who were dozing off..and those with funny poses ..

maybe all these sounded ridiculous and irrespectful..but i guess only the medic students will und..
its no fun having lecture early in the sat morning..
a subject which doesnt have a single tutorial class..a single test nor final exam.
what makes us actually bother waking up so early is the attendance..so in the way..we feel threatened..haha..

cmon..medic students are stil human beings..so we are definitely not having more abilities in bearing more stress and burden...others might have chosen other more ridiculous ways to relax themselves...at least we only choose to chill awhile during radiology lectures...

i watched so many movies nowadays..
preparing myself for the worse cycles...

someone make my day this morning..thanks alot!
you are the man！！cheers yo!!!miss u guys alot alot..

first week of new cycle

sept..the so-called "chillest cycle"
i have only one subject which is THERAPY.i have classes in alternate days which is something that i shud be thankful right now.
one subject sounds like i m having another vacation over here..
6 hours per day..3 days per week plus russian language classes and radiotherapy lecture.--not so chilling

the first day of class was abit discouraging.
first of all..the hospital is located quite a distance from my hostel and we lost our way at first.
we were late.
finally the lift came n we all entered the lift..reached basement..a guy n a lady was standing outside and they wanted to come in.
ok fine..its not that i was being mean or racist..
they are both obese n obviously its gonna be over-weight..the pathetic small lift isnt goin to fit so many ppl..
bingo!i was right..the annoying beep came out fr the speaker..
n guess wat happened next?
the obese turned around and looked at us..
"ukhodut pazhalsta"
which means.."go out pls.."
and the lift went up without me and a fren..
i volunteered to leave..so reluctant to share a lift with ppl like tat.

6 hours class was draggy and boring..
but i changed my mind after the second class due to the reason tat i really get to learn alot in this hospital and teacher is willing to teach in addition , my ability to diagnose the patients with the exact diseases that they are suffering from.APPLAUSE!!!

this year is so much more interesting compared to the past few years..at least i get to online anytime i want.yay!!!i really need to chat with somebody when i am feeling lonely.that will drag me out from my depression which takes place quite often in moscow..well..i guess i am not so depressed anymore..for this , i really feel so thankful ..

lets talk bout homesick...it isnt tat severe this time..maybe i m just too occupied and i m thinkin of goin back this coming winter only if its possible.

EVERYDAY, IN EVERY WAY..I AM GETTING BETTER AND BETTER AND BETTER...3X

say it.and u will be able to hypnotize urself..wahahaa...