YA..tis blog is written for a purpose.
i luv coming back during my holidays.i luv the feelings of steppin into my house...feeling the warmth..observing the changes in my home sweet home...takin few deep breathes..letting go the sickening stress...enjoyin the freedom of stayin at my own house..my own room.lying on my own bed...setting free my mind....but m ost of all.....meeting up my dearest family members again~!!!especially the one i luv the most - my sissstarhh...
beginnings of every single hols of mine....are alwiz sweet n memorable...
jean n i went all around ipoh the first few days....that was the very first time b eing fetched by her...we had so much of fun...n tat weekend is the longest time we spent outside during the whole summer holidays......bcuz she has to sit for her exams v ery soon...
we hadn't spent much time together...shoppin around...
not even once ....we visit karaoke together during this long holidays...
most of the time...we were out together for one purpose- her dinner night(graduation night)preparation.
i refused to teach dancing at first...n rejected her straight after she suggested.
after few nights of thinking...i changed my mind.. bcuz i tot of spending more time with her instead of stayin at home...n at the same time...the thought pop into my mind...she has not much of time left once the preparation starts...in addition, when i was imagining how would the situation be if i were there to teach them dancing....i couldn't help smiling at myself ..."i m sure that this wil definitely be another sweet n funn y memory ....so...why not?"
ya ..i was right.
the teaching progress was really fun ...although its juz a short period of time.The laughters and sweet memories worth all the time that i'd spent on that dance.i blended into the their students' life once again...and got to know more bout her frens and gradually understand more bout my growing-up sis.
other than that, we seldom had time for each other...(i went out-station for a few times)..hehe...
the hols is goin to end soon...n tis is the first time we never had a chance to sing k togeher....tho had been talkin bout tat all the time in our conversation when i was back in moscow...
spending time together...is not tat essential since deep in my heart ...i know tat we r perfectly-bonded..strongly-bonded...eternally-bonded.nothin can be compared to our luvly relationship which i take it as the greatest gift that is given by my greatest Father...He luvs me so much for he sent me a good sister ... a younger yet more stable sis ....who guides me when i m confused...who "escort" me when i m too weak to walk alone ...who gives me the fullest support…who never failed cheerin me up…
that’s y it really hurts me when things happened to be tat way…
I dun mind being condemned by others..but not my own family members and my close frens.how do I define close frens?
Close frens are those who I treat them with all my heart…I wanna share everything with them…giv a hand when they are in trouble…cheer them up when they r depressed…being straight forward and never hide anything from them.
“do u think that u r more influential than I m?”
“ya…u r more influential…”its easy to type it out and answer the question above…but the feelings that I had at that very moment …were juz more than words could describe.
Its juz so painful to accept the fact that…I m being such a useless sis who cant even be compared to a guy who she knows for 4 years.ya…it was my fault…

My sight was getting blur…
I was trying so hard to hold back my tears which filled my eyes straight after I typed that phrase…
At tat moment I realized wats in ur mind…I switched off the laptop…
U shud und me even if the whole world misund me~!
U shud know the way I express morethan anyone do~!
Anyone on earth can stab me at the back…betray me…but not U~!

He thinks tat I m juz doin it for my own advantages…
But u urself shud know that from the very beginning…since the first time u did that…I already adviced u …I had tried…maybe I m juz so useless n poor in expressing myself…
Is that the reason why I deserved ignorance from u..and all the irritated responses?
Sumthin choked me…I couldn’t even speak to u…I hid myself back at the kit chen…n u ran upstairs…

I was told not to get too upset..since I’d already tried my best.
But I know tat I m not doin tat juz for the sake of doing my job as an elder sis.
I juz wanna s ee the old U…the one who study for urself…live for urself~!
U dun need the screen to motivate u…

I trust in u…whatever u’ve decided…juz go ahead…
U r mature enough to decide n to think for urself…I will stand right here n wish u all the best…dun get me wrong…I m alwiz ur refuge when u fall…n promise to be a better sis …